Back-To-School Transitions:
What Parents Can Do
By Ted Feinberg, Ed.D., and Kathy Cowan
Getting a new school year off to a good start can
influence children's attitude, confidence, and
performance both socially and academically. The
transition from August to September can be difficult for
children and parents. Even children who are eager to
return to class must adjust to the greater levels of
activity, structure, and, for some, pressures associated
with school life. The degree of adjustment depends on the
child, but parents can help their children (and the rest
of the family) manage the increased pace of life by
planning ahead, being realistic, and maintaining a
positive attitude. Following are a few helpful
suggestions to ease the transition and promote a
successful school experience.
Before School Starts
· Be sure your child is in good physical and mental
health. Schedule doctor and dental checkups early.
Discuss with your pediatrician any concerns you have over
your child's emotional or psychological
development. Your doctor can help determine if your
concerns are normal, age appropriate issues or require
further assessment. Your child will benefit if you
can identify and begin addressing a potential issue
before school starts. Schools appreciate the efforts of
parent to remedy problems sooner than later.
· Review all of the information sent by the schools
as soon as it arrives. These packets include important
information on your child's teacher, room number, school
supply requirements, sign ups for afterschool sports and
activities, school calendar dates, bus transportation,
health and emergency forms, and volunteer opportunities.
· Mark your calendar with important dates, such as
back to school night. This is especially important
if you have children in more than one school and need to
juggle obligations. Arrange for a babysitter now,
if necessary.
· Make copies of all health and emergency information
for your reference later. Health forms are
typically good for more than a year and can be used again
for camps, extracurricular activities, and the following
school year.
· Buy school supplies early and fill the backpacks a
week or two before school starts. Older children
can help do this, but make sure they use a checklist that
you can review. Some teachers require specific
supplies, so save receipts for items that may need to be
returned.
· Plan to reestablish the bedtime and mealtime
routines (including breakfast) at least one week before
school starts. Prepare your children for this
change by talking to them about the benefits of school
routines in terms of not becoming overtired or
overwhelmed by school work and activities. Include
pre-bedtime reading and household chores, if these were
suspended during the summer.
· Encourage your children to play quiet games, do
puzzles, flash cards, color or read as their early
morning activities, instead of watching television.
This will help ease them into the learning process and
school regime. If possible, maintain this practice
throughout the school year. Television is
distracting for many children and they will arrive at
school better prepared to learn each morning if they have
engaged in less passive activities.
· Visit school with your child if they are young or
new to the school. Meeting their teacher, locating their
classroom, locker, lunchroom, etc., will help ease
pre-school anxieties and also allow the child to ask
questions about their new environment. Call ahead
to make sure the teacher will be available to say
"hello" to your child.
· Minimize clothes shopping woes by buying only the
essentials. Summer clothes are usually fine during
the early fall, but be sure to have at least one pair of
sturdy shoes. Check with your school to confirm dress
code guidelines. Common concerns include extremely short
skirts and shorts, low rise pants, bare midriffs,
spaghetti strap or halter tops, exposed undergarments,
and clothing that has antisocial messages.
· Designate and clear a place to do homework.
Older children should have the option to study in their
room or a quiet area of the house. Younger children
usually need an area set aside in the family room or
kitchen to enable adult monitoring, supervision, and
encouragement.
· Select a spot to keep backpacks, lunch boxes etc.
as well as a place for your child to put important
notices and information sent home for you to see.
Explain that emptying their backpack each evening is part
of their responsibility, even for young children.
· Freeze a few easy dinners so that meal preparation
won't add to household tension during the first week of
school.
The First Week
· Clear your own schedule. To the extent
possible, postpone business trips, volunteer meetings,
extra projects, etc. You want to be free to help
your child acclimate to the school routine and overcome
the confusion or anxiety that many children experience at
the start of a new school year.
· Make lunches the night before school. Older
children should help or make their own. Give them
the option to buy lunch in school if they prefer and
finances permit.
· Have school-age children set their own alarm clock
to get up in the morning. Praise them for prompt
response to morning schedules and bus pickups.
· Leave plenty of extra time to get up, eat
breakfast, and get to school. For very young
children taking the bus, pin to their shirt or backpack
an index card with pertinent information, including their
teacher's name and bus number, as well as your daytime
contact information.
· Review with your child what to do if they get home
after school and you are not there. Be very specific,
particularly with young children. Put a note card in
their backpack with the name(s) and number(s) of a
neighbor who is home during the day as well as a number
where you can be reached. If you have not already
done so, have your child meet their neighbor contacts to
reaffirm their backup support personally.
· Review your child's schoolbooks with them and talk
about what they will be learning during the year. Share
your enthusiasm for subject matters and their ability to
master the content. Reinforce the natural progression of
the learning process that occurs over the school
year. Learning skills take time and
repetition. Encourage your child to be patient,
attentive, and positive.
· Send a brief note to your child's teacher letting
them know that you are interested in getting regular
feedback on how and what your child is doing in school.
Be sure to attend back to school night and introduce
yourself to the teacher. Find out how they like to
communicate with parents, e.g. through notes, e-mail, or
phone calls. Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with
your child's teacher to enhance their learning
experience.
· Familiarize yourself with the other professionals
in the building or district who can be a resource for
your child. Learn their roles and how best to
access their help if you need them. This can include the
principal and front office personnel; school
psychologist, counselor, and social worker; the reading
specialist, speech therapist, and school nurse; and the
after school activities coordinator.
Overcoming Anxiety
· If your child is anxious about school, send
personal "love" notes in their lunch box or
book bag. Reinforce their ability to cope. Children
absorb their parent's anxiety, so model optimism and
confidence for your child. Let him know that it is
natural to be a little nervous anytime you start
something new but that they will be just fine once they
become familiar with their classmates, teacher, and
school routine.
· Don't over-react if the first few days are a little
rough. Young children in particular may experience
separation anxiety or shyness initially but teachers are
trained to help them adjust. If you drop them off,
don't linger. Reassure them that you love them,
will think of them during the day, and will be back.
Remain calm and positive.
· Acknowledge anxiety over a bad experience the
previous year. Children who had a difficult time
academically or socially, or were teased or bullied may
be more fearful or reluctant to return to
school. If you have not yet done so, share
your child's concern with the school and confirm that the
problem has been addressed. Reassure your child
that the problem will not occur again in the new school
year, and that you and the school are working together to
prevent further issues. Reinforce your child's
ability to cope. Give them a few strategies to manage a
difficult situation on their own, but encourage them to
tell you or their teacher if the problem persists.
Maintain open lines of communications with the school.
· Arrange play dates or get-togethers with some of
your child's classmates before school starts and during
the first weeks of schools to help your child reestablish
positive social relationships with their peers.
· If possible, plan to volunteer in the classroom at
least periodically throughout the year. Doing so helps
your child understand that their school and family life
are linked and that you care about their learning
experience. Being in the classroom is also a good way to
develop a relationship with your child's teacher and
classmates, and to get firsthand exposure to their
classroom environment and routine. Most teachers welcome
even occasional parent help, if you cannot volunteer
regularly.
Extra Curricular Activities
· Go for quality, not quantity. Your child will
benefit most from one or two activities that are fun,
reinforce their social development, and teach new
skills. Too much scheduled time can be stressful,
especially for young children, and may make it harder to
concentrate on schoolwork.
· Consider your family schedule and personal energy
level. Multiple activities per child may be too
much to manage, particularly if they have overlapping
times, disparate locations, require your attendance,
and/or disrupt the dinner hour.
· Select activities where you have someone with whom
you can carpool. Even if you are available to drive most
days, you will need backup sometimes. Choosing activities
that occur on-site after school will also minimize
driving.
· Find out from the school or teacher which days will
be heavy homework or test study days and schedule
extracurricular activities accordingly.
· If your child doesn't want to participate in
regular, organized extracurricular activities, you may
want to consider other options to help build interests
and social skills. For example, check out the local
library for monthly reading programs, find out if your
local recreation or community center offers drop-in
activities, or talk to other parents and schedule regular
play dates with their children.
These recommendations can contribute to a positive and
productive school experience for most children.
Some children may exhibit more extreme opposition to or
fear of school or may be coping with more specific
learning or psychological difficulties. If your
child demonstrates problems that seem extreme in nature
or go on for an extended period, you may want to contact
the school to set up an appointment to meet with your
child's teacher and school psychologist. They may be able
to offer direct or indirect support that will help
identify and reduce the presenting problem. They may also
suggest other resources within the school and the
community to help you address the situation.
While children can display a wide variety of
behaviors, it is generally wise not to over interpret
them. More often than not, time and a few
intervention strategies will remedy the problem. Most
children are wonderfully resilient and with your support
and encouragement will thrive throughout their school
experience.
For further information on issues related to the
learning and development of children and youth, contact
the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)
at (301) 657-0270 or visit www.nasponline.org.
Ted Feinberg is a school psychologist and Assistant
Executive Director of NASP. Kathy Cowan is NASP
Manager for Marketing and Communications.
School professionals and organizations (e.g., the
PTA) can print the fact sheets individually for hard copy
distribution. However, all fact sheets must be
disseminated in the original form
with the NASP logo and the
information credited to NASP, whether in print or online
format.
|